“The new Tesla goes from 0 to 100 in 2.5 seconds. The only thing faster than that is a co-dependent who goes from 0 to “dead-in-a-ditch” in one second flat!” Felix Vikhman (paraphrase) Addiction impacts every member of a household, from the oldest members of the family to infants, toddlers and teens. When someone in

Recovery and the Family

“If the addict is pleased with your help, you are probably enabling… If the addict is pissed as hell, you are probably helping!” Sandy Swenson Addiction has an impact on every member of a household, from the oldest members of the family to infants, toddlers and teens. When someone in your home has a drug,

Where do I end and you begin?

Where do I end and you begin? One of the most difficult challenges when working with couples and families (especially addicts/alcoholics and those who love them) is helping them understand healthy boundaries. It seems counterintuitive, but the most loving word in any relationship is very often “no.” Researcher in the areas of shame and vulnerability,

Addiction, Denial, and Self Care

“Self-care is never a selfish act – it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives

The Rooms of our Life

There is an Indian proverb or axiom that says that everyone is a house with four rooms, a physical, a mental, an emotional, and a spiritual. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time but, unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired,


There is a quotation from the actor Carrie Fisher that I am sure she picked up in the rooms of AA that says, “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” There is not a person alive who has not been hurt by the actions and words of another. For

Lessons from the “Three Little Pigs”

  We all know the story of the “Three Little Pigs.” The story begins with the title characters being sent out into the world by their mother, to “seek out their fortune”. The first little pig builds a house of straw, but a wolf blows it down and he ran as fast as he could


One of the themes that re-occurs in therapy with persons who come from a family of origin where addiction (among other issues) is part of the story, is that of nonexistent or poorly defined boundaries. These porous boundaries affect every relationship that these persons have. They lack the implicit understanding of “where do I end

Step 3: Who is “driving the bus?”

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood God Step 3, Alcoholics Anonymous Who is “driving the bus?” Step 3 of Alcoholics Anonymous asks the addict to turn his/her will and life over to the care of “something else” asking the addict or alcoholic

Love and Connection to Others

Human beings are hard wired to need love and connection. From birth to death, love is not just the focus of human lives; rather it is the life force of humans. It regulates our moods, regulates our bodily rhythms, and changes the very structure of our brains. Most people presume that the body they inhabit

Contact Chris

phone: 416 577-8215

(By appointment only)
359 Jane Street,
Toronto, ON

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